Blue Christmas
by EldestofFiveSisters15
Summary: Merry Christmas, or it should be, but how can one be happy when your fiancee died five months ago. Christmas should be filled with bright red and green and gold; it still is for all those around her. But for Elizabeth Midford this Christmas can only be blue.


**So my mother has been watching lots of Hallmark Christmas romances on Netflix recently and I just finished season two of Black Butler and because of the long-held tradition of 'Christmas in July' I've taken a slight reprieve from my long Animorphs story to write this little Christmas-Themed thought piece. (Yes I realize July is over, but I started it in July. (\^_^/)**

 **I do not nor will I ever own the characters from the Manga/Anime Kuroshitsuji, or in American, Black Butler.**

 _Blue Christmas_

Elizabeth Midford cracked half a smile in satisfaction. The outside of the Phantomhive manor looked positively gay, with snow gracing its rooftops and windowsills. Sprigs of holly were arranged tastefully around the windows and twin garlands wrapped in red ribbon hung on the double doors. Paula skipped up next to her and smiled radiantly as she viewed their work.

"I think it's beautiful, my lady! Honestly, we should do this at your home as well. It's positively…." She searched for a word her face crinkling in concentration. She brightened. "Christmas-y!"

Elizabeth smiled at her maid's enthusiasm. "Mother is in charge of the Midford Estate, Paula. I would never dream of trying to dress her realm. But here, I am queen." She spread her arms wide and began to spin in place under the freshly falling snowflakes. But mid-turn she stopped and her arms dropped. Her head sunk until her chin brushed her chest. "Or, I was to be. If only," Elizabeth's voice had sunk to a soft whisper and then broke off in a half-sob.

Paula recognized the situation immediately. "Come inside, my lady. It's become quite cold and I see the air has bothered your sensitive eyes again. I must be the worst maid. We can have hot chocolate." She looped an arm around the young woman's shoulders and guided her inside the Manor.

They were greeted by a short pink-haired maid stumbling and wobbling a large stack of glass ornaments across the foyer, towards the parlour. "Oh, deah. Oh deah, oooooohhhhh!" Mey-Rin tripped over the grand carpet of the entrance foyer, but recovered her footing enough to avoid dropping the ornaments. However, her momentum gave Mey-Rin enough propulsion to force her swiftly forward, endangering the ornaments once again.

With a gasp Paula rushed from Elizabeth's side to help the other maid. "Oh, I'm coming, Mey-Rin! Hold on!" Both women vanished into the main parlour, leaving Elizabeth alone to remove her full-length fur shawl. Underneath she styled a deep blue, off-the-shoulder dress with an empire waist, a moderate bustle and full skirt of ruffles and tucks held in place by thick black ribbons. It was a design from her dress-maker, Nina, specially crafted to exhibit mourning without washing out her light skin tone and blonde ringlets. It also hid her mourning from Society and her family who believed her to have recovered from her fiancée's death.

Leaving her shawl hanging on the staircase railing for Paula to put away, Elizabeth removed her snow-covered boots and slipped into house slippers. Padding down a hallway, she headed in the direction of Ciel's—her, study. She slumped down in the wing-backed chair in a highly un-ladylike fashion and shoved some papers around on the desk with a careless finger. They were business accounts of sales and purchases for the Funtom company. But Elizabeth was tired, and therefore not in the mood for mundane business letters. Closing her eyes, she fingered the ring on a chain around her neck. She remembered when she had found the ring; having burst into Ciel's bedroom, fully expecting him to be seated on his bed, one leg crossed over the other, smirking over what a funny joke it was to send fake death certificates. Sebastian would be standing next to him with a tea set taking care of the young lord's needs, just like he always had.

After all, including his favorite Funtom sweet in the boxes with the messages clearly meant it was a joke. And if it wasn't a joke what was it? How could he have died? He had just danced with her in the manor that morning. Sure he had acted strange, his nails were painted, an un-cute black, and she thought she had seen his eye change color; but, she had been playing cards late into the night with her brother, Edward, and her eyes were tired enough to play tricks. So it had to all be an elaborate scheme.

But he had not been there, the room had been dark and empty, chilled from the evening air breezing in from an open window. The brightening moonlight had glinted off the two rings sitting on the bedside table. It was when she saw that the Phantomhive sapphire ring was grey and no longer it's normal bright blue that she knew. Ciel was gone. Without that blue that bespoke of life, there was no other conclusion to reach. The last of the Phatomhives was gone and there was no more reason for the ring to shine.

She had broken down and burst into tears, fallen to the ground in a heap, clutching the family ring. The one she had broken so long ago, and which Sebastian had fixed. That was how they had found her; the Phantomhive household servants and Paula. They had taken her to her room in the manor and Bardroy had gone to her house to inform her family of her whereabouts. Paula stayed on the bed beside her while she cried, no longer sobbing with violent grief, but silent tears flowing down her cheeks and into her hair, ears and the pillow. Soon a great overwhelming darkness loomed over her, threatening to crush her. It was not sadness though, or grief, or any emotion at all. In fact that was what it was. Nothing. No happiness, no sadness, just a vast expanse of no feeling. It frightened her, for she always had feelings, positive and negative. But with Ciel dead, all she felt was nothing…

"M'lady?" Bard's rough voice broke through her reminiscences. She released the ring abruptly and sat up, fixing her skirts. She cleared her throat.

"Yes, Bard?"

He stepped fully into the room dragging a tea tray behind him. "Paula said you'd be cold and so's I brought you up some teah. I would'a done hot choc'late but, we don't have none, y'see. All's I could find was Earl Grey. I can run out and fetch som'ting else, it's not so late that the market…" He stopped at Elizabeth's smile and shaking head.

"No need to trouble yourself, Bard. Earl Grey will do nicely." Earl Grey, _his_ favorite. Of course that would be the kind that lasted the longest; it must have been stocked up. Bard poured her tea and mixed two sugars in, exactly how she liked it, sweet. Of course she had spent many hours at the Phantomhive Manor since the death of its lord and all of them, Finny, Tonaka, May-Rin and Bard had become accustomed to her and her preferences. They were doing a fine job of keeping up the place and, surprisingly, not destroying the manor. It was almost as if they wanted to keep the Manor exactly as it had been, no damage, no broken articles, no burning. There still were the occasional mistakes but they were easily repaired.

Elizabeth stared into the golden surface of her tea and smiled softly. It was nice of Ciel to give the manor to his staff in the event of his death. The will had been privately read to the five of them two weeks after his funeral. The house and all its belongings were for his four faithful staff. The Funtom company was to go to Elizabeth provided that part of the company's profit be given to help with the food and necessities of the Manor's maintenance and the living of its occupants. Also included were two letters addressed to Elizabeth. One labeled on the back 'open Christmas day' and the other 'open three days before Christmas.'

That second letter lay underneath the papers she had pushed aside and with a sigh she set down her cup and slit the letter open.

 _Dear Lizzy,_

 _I do hope you followed my instructions and have only opened this letter three days prior to the holiday labeled outside. I am sure you have, since I hope that in the wake of my death you have matured._

Elizabeth stood up in anger, ready to throw the letter into the crackling fire of the study, when her eyes caught the next sentence.

 _Now, before you toss this letter away from you, probably into the lit fireplace, I must need to apologize. That previous comment was unwarranted and terribly rude. But since I already wrote it and in order to remove it would take much too much work, I will simply continue._

 _You remember, I am sure, that I never appreciated the current holiday since the murder of my parents, but if I am truly dead then it does not matter what I think anymore. With this in mind I have a task for you, Lizzy. I wish you to take the money included in this envelope and buy a, ugh, I shudder to even write the word, puppy. It will be my Christmas present to Finny and Bard, Mey-Rin and Tonaka. I have no intention of them being upset by the loss of Pluto and I know they will all love having the thing. Make certain, however, that they are unaware of my interference in this affair. It would do no good to my reputation as the Queen's Watchdog and Earl Phantomhive, should it get out that I purchased a puppy for my servants. Disgraceful._

 _Remember, Elizabeth, do not read the other letter until Christmas day. For that contains my present to you, cousin. After all, I do believe you should have some reward to putting up with my acerbic attitude all the time, trying to brighten my darkened life. At least, that is what Sebastian has told me, you deserve. I do agree with him, for what it is worth._

 _Yours truly,_

 _Ciel_

Elizabeth plopped down into the chair once more, staring in shock at the written words of her dead cousin and fiancée. Her mouth dropped slightly and she realized she had stopped breathing momentarily. Her eyes filled with tears. For in this letter she read a glimpse of her childhood friend. The sarcasm and arrogance of course came later, but that he specifically provided for his friend's Christmas, even if they were his servants, was the sweet loving gesture of the Ciel before his tragedy. He had not been so open in many years, especially with her. What could the other letter contain? What would he think she would want? All she wanted, truly, was for him to spend Christmas with her. There was no physical way for him to fulfill her wish, so she shoved her curiosity aside.

There was a polite knock on the door, interrupting Elizabeth's sip of tea. "Enter."

Tonaka swept into the room with mincing steps, carrying a silver letter tray in one upheld hand, "A correspondence of great import, M'lady."

Elizabeth quirked one eyebrow elegantly, "Great import. Who is it from, Tonaka?"

"Her majesty, Queen Victoria. Her messenger stands in the foyer awaiting an immediate reply."

Oh, right. Her Majesty. Perhaps she was losing her mind; one should never forget to respond to the ruler of their country. It wasn't necessarily that she had forgotten to respond to the Queen, but that she was taking time to mull over her request.

 _Darling Elizabeth,_

 _We send our sincerest grief and condolences over the death of the late Earl Phantomhive. I know he was as dear to you as he was to us, if not more so. But we write to you with a problem. A problem we hope you will consider solving for us._

 _Due to certain, unexplainable circumstances our Royal Highness is without our Watchdog as well as another agent, our Spider. This leaves England is a dangerous state, one without protection. The dilemma we believe you can rectify is to fill the role of your departed fiancée, as the new Watchdog. In all legal matters of state you will be labeled as a Phantomhive and we wish to grant that title to you. A title which you would have received, if fate had not showed a cruel hand._

 _We are already aware of certain, qualities, which with a little further training, will enable you to step in as the next Phantomhive and Watchdog. We await your reply, but if we may be frank and open. Do not feel as if you must agree simply because we ask this of you. Elizabeth, you have a chance to avoid a dark world completely that, without the Earl's death would have swallowed you and your sweet spirit in time. We do not wish for you to feel duty-bound or any such, rot, frankly. Take some time to reply, we, and England can wait. Think carefully._

 _Her Royal Highness: Ruler of the grand State of Great Britain,_

 _Victoria_

Perhaps two weeks was too long a wait for her majesty's good will. Elizabeth quickly grabbed some Phantomhive stationary and a fountain pen from its holder. She knew her answer, so the response was rapidly penned and sent to the messenger in a short amount of time. Tonaka left with a bow and a final comment, "Finny should be returning from tree-hunting soon, M'Lady. I know how you enjoy decorating the parlour tree."

"Thank you, Tonaka. I have some final business and I shall join you all there." When she picked up her teacup again, the liquid was tepid. Much like her own attitude.

How long she sat with her cold tea, Elizabeth did not know. But the room had gotten almost dark with the vanishing winter sun, and the fire was in need of a good stoking. What awoke her from her quiet thoughts was the loud slamming of the front doors.

"I've found the parfect one this time! Hellooo! I've got it!" It was Finnian. Elizabeth rose and brushed her skirt down, making her way to the parlour. As she was entering the room she heard Finny remark to a beaming Mey-Rin. "This is sure to cheer the Lady up!"

"How right you are, Finny. " The two servants jumped at Elizabeth's voice and whipped around so they were facing the blonde.

"Oh, 'ello, Lady Lizzy. We din'n't hear ya come in, no we didn't." Mey-Rin pushed her glasses up her nose and Finny blushed, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Do ye like it, M'lady?"

Elizabeth made a show of inspecting the tree, walking around it, taking hold of a branch here, sniffing the fir there. She turned with a blank expression on her face to the expectant servants. Both lost their smiles when they received no response, until she clapped her hands together and smiled. "It's perfect! Where are the decorations?"

They both scampered into action. "I've got t'e popcorn strings!"

"I've got the bulbs, yes I do, and I only broke two, M'Lady. It must really be Christmas!"

Elizabeth smiled for so long it began to hurt. Mey-Rin and Finny's enthusiasm was contagious and she laughed so hard her sides ached as well. Bard came in with a box of white candles and a torch, which she firmly refused permission to use, regardless of how much quicker it would light the candles, it would lit the tree as well. Tonaka served tea, gingerbread and satsumas. Paula carried in a box of new silver bells tied with blue ribbons. "Jingle, jingle, jingle!"

Observing the tree and her friends, Elizabeth smiled. Ciel was probably turning over in his grave, wherever that was. Not only was she decorating his home for Christmas but she was doing so from memories of Christmases before the fire. The laughter in the parlour room echoed the ancient past's gayety. She could almost see the outlines of her aunt and uncle sitting by the tree and fireplace laughing at her and Ciel as they skipped from the ornament's boxes to the tree, placing them with great care. Tonaka lifted Ciel so he could reach a higher branch and Elizabeth stuck her tongue out at him. He returned the gesture only to be reprimanded lightly by his mother.

The image faded and she sighed. "My old Master and Mistress would be proud and pleased with you, my Lady." Tonaka intoned quietly. "I believe the young Master would be as well. You have done a fine job of keeping their legacy and memories safe and alive."

Elizabeth swallowed thickly, tears pricking her eyes. "But keeping them alive hurts more than letting them fade away."

"True, but there would be no pain if there was not love as well. Come, Miss. I have instructed Paula to prepare your bed. Tomorrow, you return to the Midford Estate."

Elizabeth was almost asleep when she realized that Tonaka had not called it her home.

_:-:_

It was midnight, Christmas morning. Elizabeth returned to the Phantomhive Manor after attending Christmas Eve Mass with her family. It was strangely saddening that her mother and father no longer asked where she was going. She spent more time at the Manor than she did with them, and at first her oddly eccentric behavior of leaving home so often had worried them. But they let her be, and only asked that she show up occasionally at home and to all social events with them. Her mother had questioned her choice of gown, she wore another blue one, but Elizabeth had explained it away with a comment on Jews and how they celebrated blue, and the Christ child was Jewish.

Ed, of course, asked when she was coming home for Christmas so they could open presents.

"I'll be home in the mid-morning. I have plans for tonight with the servants. After all their hard work they deserve a party."

Ed had playfully pouted out the hansom window until it disappeared in the black night and falling snow.

The servants had greeted her with great enthusiasm and they had shared wassail and Funtom peppermint candies before settling down to exchange gifts.

Elizabeth had Paula bring in the box from the stable, and she set it down in front of Finny who sat legs sprawled out on the floor. The movement excited the puppy inside causing the package to shake. "What is it?" Finny asked putting out a wary hand.

Elizabeth smiled, "a gift for all of you, but you will be left in the dark if you do not open it. It is certainly nothing dangerous."

The top of the box needed to only be cracked open before the large golden retriever puppy burst from inside. It leaped immediately on Finny smothering his face in wet, sloppy kisses.

"A puppy?!" Bard and Mey-Rin exclaimed.

"Yes, do you like it?" Elizabeth hoped she had picked a sturdy enough animal for the four of them to take care of and enjoy. The happy giggles of the staff as they rough-housed with the dog were the only response she received. Smiling, Elizabeth rose from her chair, hoping to escape the others and open her Christmas gift from beyond the grave. A ring of keys entered her field of vision just as she exited the room. Following the hand to the arm to the person that held the keys; Tonaka's smiling face came into focus.

"What is this, Tonaka?"

"The master keys to the entire estate, m'lady. We all decided that the Lady of the house should have them. After all that has always been your station, Mistress. Merry Christmas." He bowed and placed the keys into her hand returning to the festivities around the tree. Elizabeth's eyes filled with tears and she dashed them away with a hand nearly running from the room.

Ciel's second letter lay on the desk beside a warm cup of wassail. She had no idea how the drink had appeared there with all the servants in the parlour, perhaps Tonaka was as adept a butler as the supernaturally-gifted Sebastian. She missed the always-smiling man who put up with her girly antics with grace and kindness.

The silver letter opener slit the envelope with a clean hiss. Three pieces of parchment fell out into her hand written on both sides in tiny, neat cursive. Lizzy settled back in the chair beside the fireplace and began to read.

 _Dearest Lizzy,_

 _Merry Christmas. I find it frankly startling that in the face of my death many emotions other than revenge and hatred have surfaced. Yes, I write this knowing that I am going to die. In this line of work and due to other circumstances; I know without a doubt that I shall die and in all probability before our promised nuptials. That being said, I apologize. I apologize that you are devoted to and love a dead man. Yes, I know that you love me, though I see no reason for you to. I have only ever treated you with a cold personage._

"That is not true, Ciel!" Elizabeth exclaimed to the empty room. Her voice startled herself and she glanced around the room to make sure she was alone. That done, she returned to the letter.

 _I am very sorry, Lizzy. I had hoped to spare you any heartache or pain when we were little, especially with all the pain Aunt Angelina endured in the face of love, but I fear I have failed in that respect. I hope to make it up to you in this letter, or at least soften the pain I know I have caused you simply by dying.  
Being the season of gifts, I give you the greatest gift I can. The truth. I know that this may not seem significant, but I promise it is. If you know me at all you know that in my line of work lies, deceptions and so on are the pinnacle of its methods. So the truth is what I give you, Lizzy._

 _I once heard that letters are small bits of a person's soul, which I find rather ironic due to the fact that I have no soul. At least I will not by the time you read this. I will spare you the gruesome details of my parents' deaths, my subsequent capture and slavery, sacrifice and so on. But the truth you must know is that when I returned with Sebastian I returned a dead man walking. While I was a captive…._

Tears poured down Elizabeth's face as she watched the words disappear and blue-hot flames eat up the pages. "I do not wish to remember you like that, Ciel." She whispered. "I do not want my memories of you to be tainted by the truth. I realize that to be selfish of me, refusing your Christmas gift. But it is no gift at all. It is knife wounds, ones that will not heal with time. So I will simply remember you and darling Sebastian, as I knew you. Even if the people I knew were lies. Your memories are all I have left, Ciel, and I cannot live without them."

She sat in the dark study watching the flames return to their normal glow, the extra tinder destroyed. She fingered her ring, and thought. _Blue is such an interesting color. The color of the hottest flames, the frozen cold of ice, the brilliant sky. My mother was right, not an appropriate color for Christmas._

_:-:_

"Young Master?"

"Yes, Sebastian?"

"You asked me to inform you of any activity under the name of the Queen's Watchdog."

"So I did. What of it?"

"I have just received an interesting description of one operating under such a name."

"Well, spit it out. Who is he?"

"She, M'lord, not he."

"What?"

-Fin-

 **Eight pages, 4K… I have no idea how this got so long. Especially when I don't like long oneshots. I just had so many thoughts I wanted to get into this piece. But I ended this with the possibility of a longer fanfiction. But it all depends on my time and whether I can come up with enough ideas and so on. But I feel that this one-shot is long enough. I just really wanted to explore the question of what would Elizabeth do, and if she had the option of the truth behind all the occurrences and the subsequent disappearances of master and butler; would she really want it? But I hope you enjoyed this little brain child.**

 **~Eldest**


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